Push
by CupCakesYummeh
Summary: "Madness as you know, is alot like gravity. All it takes is a little push."-The Joker. Lucy was escorted, all she needed was a push, or in her case, a jump into death. T for paranoia and character madess. Suggest sexual situation in the end. Angst. A little OOC. One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

_Madness;_

_As you know, is a lot like_

_Gravity._

_All it takes is a little_

_Push._

_The Joker;Batman: The Dark Knight_

* * *

She was alone. People were not to be trusted, who would trust liars anyway? Humans…Porlyuscia was right. They are all fools, no wonder the old mage cannot stand them. She's ashamed for being one herself. People, humans…they are not to be trusted with anything. One secret is all it takes. To trust someone is like lighting the match to start the fire, and then –Bam!—it all burns up until the only thing left are the ashes. The ashes are the shallow evidence of the existence of the trust, a memory; nothing in this world is sacred only in the depths of your mind. Not even that if Warren is around. Speak a secret out loud, and the fire starts, burning you until you finally give up and become the ashes.

That is exactly how she feels, sitting along at the cliff, watching as the waves below her crash up against the tall rock. She felt like the rock, the forces were all pushing against her, and she could only do so much to protect herself. Unlike the rock however, she cannot remain stoic forever, she cannot remain unscathed, soon the scars would all show, and she, unlike the rock, will crumble.

Hell, right now, she _is_ crumbling.

One secret was all it took for her to fall. One secret, on little secret that started out small turned into this. Into the dark abyss of being alone, well not again, she is not trapped anymore; she has a rope to bring her back up from the abyss.

One tiny little secret turned into this, into a war of love, one she didn't know she was even in. Then, the demon's sister took it all from her, her friends, framed her for events she wasn't aware of—turned her entire family against her. Little did they know, the demon's sister is the real demon.

In fact, the elder sister and iron dragon are the only ones who speak to her anymore.

The younger one had escorted her to the edge, but can she really jump off of this cliff? End her life now and here, just be gone?

She could, if she really wanted to.

"There are so many things I wanted to do," the girl said, looking up sadly at the morning sky. The sun was coming up to the sky to hear her speech—not like any of the guild members would listen to her.

"I wanted to have a family, be in love, and teach my children like my mother taught me. I wanted to get all Zodiac keys, watched Gajeel and Levy's relationship blossom, listen to the rain with my love on a summer's warm morning. Finish my novel, see if Erza and Jellal get together, and watch Gray finally see Juvia.

Most of all…I wanted Natsu to finally meet Igneel again. I wanted to meet Igneel myself, and Metalicana and Grandine. All of them…I wanted my friends to be happy."

Hoarse laughter escaped from her lips, "Not like any of them talk to me, anyway…they all hate me now. They want me dead…"

The girl nodded and walked away from the cliff, no way she was going to end her life like _that_. Before she could take pride in her decision, a blur appeared to the corner of her eye. Her head snapped to the direction and what she saw was something—or someone.

It was her mother.

"Lucy, why aren't you trying to join me?" Layla Heartphilia asked her daughter.

Appearing next to her was Jude Heartphilia.

"We miss you, Lucy,"

"Momma…Papa…" was all the blonde would say.

"Run and fly into the sky like a bird. Your nest is too small; the other baby birds don't want you anymore. Why don't you jump and join us?" Layla asked

"It can be like old times, when you, your mother and I would go to farway lands and look out at the views. When we would go to the beach, the garden we used to plant…" Jude said

Lucy felt tears in her eyes, "That time we got stuck in the mountains…"

"Exactly, it could be just like that." Layla assured.

Lucy opened her mouth, but before she could speak the ghosts of her parents left, Lucy looked twenty yards ahead to the edge of the tall cliff and nodded. If her Fairy Tail family didn't want her, then her real family would have her. She wanted to be happy, and alive she was not.

Nodding, Lucy started out jogging. Jogging transitioned to running the girl laughed, so full of life, she'll be happy finally. Once at the edge she stopped laughing and her eyes widened. She is going to die.

She was falling to her death and was defenseless, no whip no keys. Brown orbs looked up at the beautiful sunrise. The last thing she'll see. Closing her eyes and smiling, Lucy Heartphilia accepted her fate. She could feel the currents against her, a crack in her left leg—that was broken. More blows hit her body as she fell.

"Lucy!" she heard her name.

Who was that voice?

"Lucy! Lucy! LUCY!"

They were bothering her. Maybe it was her mother or father calling to her?

"Lucy you freak!"

No, it couldn't be them. She knew that voice, but where?

"Leave the girl alone, she needs rest. She suffered some blows before you got to her."

Got to her? She jumped off a cliff.

"I can't believe something like this happened in Fairy Tail… we're all supposed to be nakama…"

That was the voice that spoke to her often. Only her and the iron dragon spoke to her.

"We were all blinded by the lies."

Stern, forceful, scary.

"Lu-chan…"

Small, feeble, stubborn.

"Didn't any of you hear me? GET OUT!"

Wise, cranky—yet comforting.

Next, she heard shuffling and some smacks before….was she alone.

"You can stop pretending now, girl." The voice said. Her brown eyes shot open and she looked at Porlyuscia. Lucy was in the infirmary of the guild.

"…I jumped off a cliff, I was supposed to see Momma and Papa…were going to be a family again.." Was all the girl said, nothing more and nothing less. Her voice croaky and hoarse, to be expected she hasn't used her voice much. The old healer gave her a cup filled with water, a straw at the top. Taking some, Lucy blinked but still didn't speak.

"Natsu was there, he followed your scent. Apparently in his gut he felt something wrong, or off. Gajeel and Wendy noticed it too, so them and their exceeds followed and there they saw you run and jump off.."

Lucy nodded, but didn't speak. She went to that cliff to die, and almost did. So many things happened, so many events. Looking down at her hands, she screamed. They were covered in flies, they were eating her flesh.

"GET THEM OFF!" she yelled, her voice cracking. Her throat started to burn and she moved quickly. Bad idea. Her entire body yelled in protest, the pain was too much. Porlyuscia knocked her out.

* * *

The second time waking up, there was another in the room. The iron dragon slayer, he looked at her and she looked at him.

"Bunny girl, nice to see you awake this time." Gajeel said, looking at her. Lucy said nothing; if she spoke her throat would burn again. "Not going to talk? Fine, I hate talking anyway."

So he stayed, they looked at each other, their eyes held the conversation,

_Why?_

_I wanted to die. Momma and Papa were waiting for me.._

_What do you mean?_

_They came to me. Told me we can go back to being a family like before._

_Their dead, how could they come to you?_

_They came, Gajeel, I don't know how…but I was going to walk away…_

He nodded gave her a small smile, even then it looked like a smirk, "Got a mission now, see ya,"

She watched as he left and then she was alone again. Looking at the medicine next to her, there was a note.

_Use these to sleep._

Porlyuscia's handwriting, even now the old healer knew.

The door opened, but the blonde didn't look their way, she stared at the medicine. "Luce…" the voice whispered out.

It was Natsu, she knew that voice. It was the one that called out to her.

She still didn't speak, scared of her throat burning on fire.

Instead, she reached out for the medicine and popped a pill in her mouth. While her eyes became heavy, she looked at Natsu. He looked hurt, worried, but Lucy didn't show nay emotion. She was stoic, like the rocks.

Then her world became black again.

When she woke up again, she looked around once more. She blinked at the person in front her, not really expecting that person.

Wendy.

"Lucy-san…" the girl said weakly, "I…I…I'm so sorry…"

Lucy still didn't say anything.

"I should've known…you would never do such things…but…I still fell for it…I'm so sorry!" tears ran down the sky dragon's eyes and Lucy just stared, blinking a few times.

She didn't want to move at all, she would be in excruciating pain again, but to stop the younger girl's crying she did.

She wanted to hug the bluenette.

She moved sideways, the pain hit her like gunshot, but she sat upright, her feet almost touching the ground. Wendy's eyes widened as she ran over saying, "Lucy-san, no you're not healed yet!"

Then the blonde's feet touched the ground.

"AHHHHH!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Her body fell, her throat was on fire. She was surely going to die from the pain, right?

The pain brought tears to her eyes and all she could feel was a color, white. Then, she saw the flies again, nipping at her pink flesh.

"GET THEM OFF OF ME! THEY'RE EATING ME! HELP!" she screamed, Wendy's soft touch tried to help the girl up, but Lucy continued screaming, crying, the pain would not stop.

Through the daze of her pain, she saw several people enter, and then someone lifted her. Blonde hair and lightning mark. Then her world became black once more.

* * *

When she woke up once more, she was alone this time. Then, a golden light appeared in the room, Virgo and Loke.

"Princess," Virgo said, approaching her, "You hurt yourself again."

"Lucy, you're safe here you know that, right?"

She didn't speak, just stared her eyes wide at her two faithful spirits. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to speak, but the fear held her back.

"We're here for you. Everyone is watching you, remember that," Loke said, smiling at his master. He nodded and walked out of the room, "I'll be out here, let's go Virgo."

The maid nodded and smiled at her master, "I'll wait for my punishment, then."

Lucy watched as they left. Then looked straight in front of her, she didn't know what she wanted anymore. Her body ached and her throat burned. Looking at the pills Porlyuscia left, she took one and swallowed. Then went back to sleep.

* * *

The next time she woke up, however, she was looking at the face of Porlyuscia, and the Master was next to her.

"Hello Lucy," Makarov greeted, smiling at the blonde. Once again, Lucy didn't speak, just stared between the two.

"Drink some water," the healer ordered and Lucy did. The liquid danced around in her mouth before the girl swallowed, wincing at the cold touch in her hot throat.

"Speak up now, it should not hurt." The pink haired woman said.

She didn't speak, it would hurt.

"Lucy, child, how are you feeling?"

"…I…" she spoke! It didn't hurt! "The flies…they'll come back…" even though she now spoke, her voice was still hoarse and tired.

"What flies?" asked the old man.

"They nip at my skin and….eat me…"

The two older mages looked at one another and nodded, looking back at Lucy Makarov spoke, "There are no flies, that is all in your head, child."

"…my head?"

"It seems as if you're delusional." Porlyuscia deadpanned, "Worry not, there are no flies."

Lucy blinked and nodded and sipped some more water.

"There are some who want to talk to you…will you let them in?" Makarov asked, looking at the stellar mage.

"They do come in…Gajeel was here…Wendy…. Loke and Virgo and Natsu, too I think…"

"They want to speak to you," Makarov said again. Lucy nodded slowly and then the two older mages left.

The door opened several seconds later and Team Natsu and Levy walked in. Erza was looking at Lucy with relief in her eyes, same as Gray and Levy. Happy started to cry from excitement and Natsu looked scared.

"…I thought it was going to be Gajeel or Mirajane," Lucy said, sipping water, "Didn't expect my ex team and ex best friend. Ex best friend by your terms, not mine…at first…"

Her words made them flinch, but Erza didn't back down, "We didn't know it was all lies, Lucy."

"Blinded by them you said, I think," Lucy retorted. She herself flinched at the thought of the looks she received for the past three months.

"Lucy…" Gray said, looking at the blonde, "We know now and words aren't enough to express our guilt."

Lucy nodded and then side glanced at her sleep pills. One left, was it worth it? "Lu-chan, I've been a horrible best friend, I know. It's…it'll hurt if you don't forgive me, but I'll accept it. It's my fault anyway…"

Lucy shrugged, "I don't….I don't know anymore."

"Don't know what?" Erza asked.

"Anything, really. What day it is, how long I've been out, my rent must be due by now—"the girl cur herself off reached for her water quickly and sipping more. Her voice was not used to being used.

"It's Saturday, July 14th, you've been in here for three weeks and I took care of your rent." Natsu spoke, finally, "You slept most of the time, but I was here, watching you. You never woke, or maybe you were but just…away, off in your own world…"

"My world…._my_ world is better…" the blonde said, looking at them all, "Much better then here in _this_ world."

"Why is it better?" Happy asked, truly curious.

Well, as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.

"I'm dead in that world," Was the answer the blonde supplied, so full of venom and anger. Her words made Levy break down, Erza escorted her out, not looking at Lucy, Happy and Gray left together leaving Natsu and Lucy alone.

"How could you say that?" Natsu asked, his voice sounded angry, his fists were clenched and onyx eyes narrowed at the girl.

"Why do you care, Natsu? I don't care about living, I hate myself. I'M SICK OF BEING ALONE GOD DAMNIT!" now she was hysterical and tried moving out of the bed. Her body, once again, protested and Natsu ran over but the girl still struggled, soon reaching for the pills, but Natsu stopped her.

"You're not taking those again, Lucy!" he yelled at her, but the blonde tried so hard, but the dragon slayer did held her back effortlessly.

"Let me die," the girl choked out, her throat burning again "I just want to die…"

"I need you, Lucy!" Natsu said, holding the girl in an embrace, "You're just Lucy. You're the girl who stole my soul and buried it into her pocket…."

"You all hate me," the girl choked out, still struggling.

"You're a mage of Fairy Tail! You're loved by everyone…especially me…" the salmon haired boy said.

Lucy took advantage of his embrace and stuck her hands out, grabbing the pill. It would take more than that.

"Once someone loses the will to live, there's no going back," was the last words the girl uttered before popping the pill in her mouth.

* * *

Black. She was falling into a never ending abyss of blackness. Nothing could stop her, was this death? Nothing could stop her, she wanted to die, she needed to be gone. She was alone in this world, no one cared about her, maybe Mirajane and Gajeel, that's it.

Her eyes opened, and she was once again in the world of living. Looking around, she noticed the light in the infirmary was dead and she was alone. When wasn't she alone? Lucy looked at her leg, the cast was gone-it was healed. There was a cup of water next to her, and Lucy reached forward. The motion of moving didn't hurt her.

Sipping the water, her dry throat didn't hurt. Scared of the pain, Lucy slowly let her feet fall to the ground. It didn't hurt.

The girl walked, albeit she almost fell a million times, but somehow, someway, she made it to the bathroom of the infirmary.

She didn't need to use it, strangely, but she looked in the mirror.

Her skin was pale, lips chapped, her eyes were dim and her hair was greasy. Her skin was clean, but Lucy could feel the dirt. There were no more bandages, just her dead looking face.

Tears flowed in her eyes and the girl reached out to touch the mirror. Why did she do this to herself?

"Because you wanted to die," she answered herself. The scars on her arm were proof of her effort. "You had and still don't possess anything to live for." She added, chuckling. Her voice was still hoarse.

Porlyuscia said she was delusional. Could the visions of her mother and father be her mind playing tricks with her as well?

Before her mind interfered, she found things to live to see. She knew she didn't want to die.

"I…I don't want to die. I want to live." Lucy said, her chapped lips turning into a smile. "I want to live!" she called, her voice burned, but not as bad as before.

Laughing madly the girl smiled wider than she has ever done before and her voice became louder with laughter. Though her body disagreed with any movement, the blond spirit mage outstretched her arms and started to do a little dance in the bathroom, so happy to be alive for the first moment in three months.

"I'm alive!"

It seemed that even in the darkness, there was hope lingering somewhere for the girl. Even after all the sleep, being off in her own 'perfect' world, the young stellar mage learned a lesson that your life is not something to be thrown away so easily. She may have been crumbled and broken, but now, she was laughing. Not whole, but she is filling up with light once more. Maybe it was seeing the concerned faces of those who really cared for her; maybe it was just to make sure the puppet master lost. Who knows? All that mattered was that Lucy Heartphilia found a new reason to live, and many others. She was alive.

* * *

"_Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."_

_-Albus Dumbledore_

* * *

_**A/N: I found inspiration to do an alternate ending! Enjoy :3 Besides, it's easier to do that when I have a message to convey. **_

_**Everyone, even when you think it not so, has a reason to live. If you, like Lucy in this, is given a second chance and you see that, then take it.**_


	2. Note

Hey guys so I did an alternate ending. So I only added this chapter so you can all be alerted and stuff. Enjoy it :3


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